|I believe the first flutters an expectant mom feels are not those of her baby but rather of her own heart falling completely into Mommy love.
In the beginning she was yet to be born. Her mom and dad followed great hope into their gender scan with anxious anticipation. Moments turned into a blur as the sonographer, and eventually the doctor, clicked again and again noting measurements that looked awry to Mom. Tracing every moment since her positive pregnancy test, desperately trying to ease her mind, this nurse mommy came up with a thousand valid reasons why this could be, dismissing each one back to a healthy baby boy or girl. She even told her husband they’d likely say something was wrong, but it would be fine, “Don’t let them scare you.” In that veneer of truth in denial, off they went determined to carry on with their family gender reveal party. More concerned with their older daughter and the family’s outlook, this sweet couple played games, stuffed a piñata and let the party start while secretly their hearts were torn. POP! PINK candy everywhere, giggles and applause; it’s a GIRL!
On the eve of their follow-up scan, Momma Bird told her husband to head to work; her mom would accompany her. There was nothing to worry about. Anything suspected would certainly be dismissed at the appointment. She was sure.
“What cannot be said will be wept.” Sappho
Whatever the weather outside, inside the small, sterile room, a storm raged. Each wave crashed, crushing every part of this Mommy’s heart. Her very soul was dying with every word the specialist uttered. Too much information and too few answers laced with the now undeniable knowledge her Baby Bird would not “be normal” fearfully invaded her everything. Muddled thoughts found unending questions and abandon. Eerie, unfamiliar and unwelcome hollowness of heart echoed the words “lethal” and “terminate.” There, grief grew. No. No, this little girl, no matter how small, would be born; she was already loved more than life itself.
“You were unsure which pain is worse- the shock of what
Suddenly, life was their greatest hope.
Still, there was a darker place where winds whipped and waves crumbled whispering hope- Mommy’s Womb. Unaware of life’s threatening turmoil, yet full of determination and the purest love, Baby Bird was already a fighter. And so, she fought. Could she have heard the prayers pled on her behalf? Maybe she felt those flutters from her mommy’s heart! Somehow she must have known.
Mommy’s tests and the search for answers, world wide, continued. Each fleeting answer brought a sense of fortitude where hopes and prayers were founded, but also eventual dismay. No one could determine what was going on with my scans and why my measurements were amiss. They prayed for my chest to grow enough to hold my heart and lungs, and for more-much more. Mommy and Daddy just wanted me to live. Soon, my birth day came along prematurely as expected, and the NICU became my home. I really was a tiny baby: very short and only a breath heavier than 2 pounds, but I was, I am, larger than life in resolve. From the minute I was born, long before I could talk, my big brown eyes would tell my heart’s story.
“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most
Answered prayers came with my grandma’s researching help, and finally, IMAGe syndrome with Adrenal insufficiency was confirmed. Although there are many people with dwarfism, I have this rare and complicated condition with less than 30 (documented) little people like me in the world. A few defining characteristics: intrauterine growth restriction, metaphyseal dysplasia and congenital adrenal hypoplasia. Scariest to us is adrenal insufficiency: physically super sneaky and subtle but life-threatening if not treated urgently. My diagnosis brought us as much hope as it did fear. It still can. My mom, dad and sister are my heroes. Without their love and care, I would die. I need a lot of medicine every day and Mommy’s intuition has already saved my life. They regularly have to teach others, medical professionals too, about my condition so they can help take good care of me.
I just turned three years old, and I’m still tiny. I’m too little to realize how big this world is. I love exploring and being outdoors. Horses, farms, swimming holes, bugs, worms and flowers are exciting. Ice cream and chocolate are yummy, and I just might be a ballerina. I think I’m heading in the right direction. Big world, be kind to me and I’ll light up your life! I am Beauty Revived!
Such a big miracle in such a little girl.
Gorgeous dresses donated by Angora Boutique
|Short Bio of Photographer
There are few things that define my life, but there are many people. Through life’s trials, heartaches and blessings, the Lord has been ever faithful to me; I’m so thankful! My husband and I are headed toward our 30 year anniversary-’tis true time speeds up with passing years! We celebrate our two boys every day and all the joy they bring us by just being them. If ever you find me on a beach with my camera, my journal and a cup of coffee, don’t feel sorry for me but please do feel free to join me! Phil 2:4-5